


Out of View

by goguma



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26106931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goguma/pseuds/goguma
Summary: There’s more to someone than meets the eyes.They say that oftentimes, the one with the brightest smile is hiding the most pain.Hansol learned those truths too late.Perhaps fourteen days too late.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan & Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for stopping by!  
> I've been wanting to write verkwan angst for a very long time so here goes nothing...  
> Also this is a work in progress so I'm still not sure how it's going to turn out later, and tags might change...  
> I hope you like the story though!  
> ;-;

Jeju is hot, humid, packed, and it ticked off almost everything in the list of things that Hansol hated most. His parents though, two travel addicts that thought bringing their antisocial teenage son in one of their adventures was a good idea, seemed to like this island better than any of the other cities and places that they have visited in Korea. Hansol would rather stay at his grandmother’s house and spend his summer overeating cookie doughs, but his mom really wanted him to _get in touch with his Korean roots._ Thankfully, Jeju was their last stop before they flew back to New York. 

Hansol just needed to hold on for fourteen more days. 

-

**Day 1**

The villa they rented was beautiful, painted white with a porch and stairs that led to the sparkling sands that spread out and meet the blue waters of Jeju. The window of his room painted the same image, and Hansol thought that if he locked himself there with the AC on and buried his face in his kindle for two weeks, time would pass by at the speed of light.

But not even after ten minutes of settling in and unpacking, his parents were already dragging him out and down the porch, and the feel of the sand between his toes made him grimace. 

He was stuck on a pair of striped sunbeds with his kindle in his hand, and thankfully the huge umbrella above was blocking enough sunlight from touching his face directly. Hansol watched as his parents got into the water with his eyes squinted. It was noon, the sunlight was blinding, and he could already feel his pits starting to itch from sweat. 

As minutes passed by, the clouds too shifted, and more parts of him were slowly exposed to the burning Jeju sun. He wasn’t even wearing sunscreen and he was slowly mutating into a red lobster. God, how he _hated_ the sun.  
  


_“Just like the sky is high and the wind is cold_

_Like the ocean is wide and blue--”_

There was a soft hum approaching from his left, Hansol could hear the words of the song clearly, and when he turned his head towards the voice, there was a blonde boy trotting his way, at least ten bracelets decorating each of his arms as he swayed them along to the beat of his steps. 

He approached Hansol, eyes sparkling brighter than the light hitting the ocean that day, and the boy stopped right infront of him, blocking the sunlight and the sea from Hansol’s view. The apples of his cheeks were stretched up into a wide grin, there was a small cut right above his lip, and his eyes were smiling too. He reminded Hansol of that one Japanese cartoon character with the red cheeks that he used to watch on TV when he was a bit younger.. Unlike the pale character though, the boy’s skin colored years of sunlight, but he wasn’t dark, he was more like a shade of gold, and Hansol wondered how one’s skin could even glisten like that in the sun.

“Fancy a handmade shell bracelet? Authentic Jeju souvenir!” 

With a thick accent in his voice, he dangled his right hand infront of Hansol’s face, and before Hansol could open his mouth to say anything, the boy, who seemed just about his age, took a seat on the other sunbed right next to Hansol, his messy flop of hair bounced as he settled down. Hansol just stared as he started taking off the bracelets from his wrists one by one and laid them down on the sunbed, all with the same designs and shells (cowrie shells, Hansol guessed), but each with different colors. Hansol was pretty sure that he could find similar ones sold at the airport later, but the boy was so eager, all of the bracelets on his wrists were gone and now displayed neatly for Hansol to see.

“I think you’d look good with this one,” The blonde boy chirped, pointing at one bracelet with sky blue shells, “It’d remind you of the clear waters here, don’t you think so?”

“Oh… definitely, but I’m not really-”

“How about the yellow one? You’re too late to see the canola flowers blooming this year, but this yellow’s just as bright, or, you can look cooler in this black one too--”

“I’m not sure if I should--” Hansol’s eyes glanced over to his parents swaying in the middle of the ocean’s waves, completely oblivious of the situation that their son was in. Hansol didn’t want a bracelet, and although he was old enough to make big boy decisions like this, he was never really the best at refusing anyone. 

“Oh,” The boy followed his gaze and then he looked at Hansol curiously, there seemed to be a slight disappointment in his eyes, but he didn’t look mad, “How long are you here for?”

“Um. Two weeks-”

The boy beamed, “Great! Then I’ll come back later. You can ask your parents first. They’d both look good in red ones.” His words startled Hansol a little, he certainly didn’t expect the other to come back, and he wanted to retort, but the boy was already cleaning up his display right away, all the bracelets back on his wrists in no time and he then stood up, 

“I’m Seungkwan by the way, I’m always around here. What’s your name?”

Hansol hesitated, his hands were sweaty against his kindle, it wasn’t his plan to even take a step outside of his room for the whole trip, let alone get a tacky souvenir and considered making new friends on an island he’d probably never visit again, but it would be rude not to respond to such a simple question, and although Hansol was one moody teenager, he was anything but rude. 

So, Hansol tried to smile, “I’m Hansol. Or Vernon. Whichever you like better...”

“Hansol…” Seungkwan repeated, nodding his head and he seemed to be scanning Hansol from head to toe, and Hansol wasn’t sure of what he was doing, but Hansol did the same, subtly. Was he trying to remember what Hansol looked like? If that was the case, then unlike him, Hansol was pretty sure that he’d remember the bracelet boy with blonde hair and golden skin. If not, he’d just think about _Anpanman_ and his red cheeks. 

“I’ll see you later then, Hansol.”

Seungkwan’s smile was definitely wider and brighter than his own, and Hansol just stared as Seungkwan waved and turned around to leave, humming his song again as he trotted along the beach, his sweet voice slowly fading away along with the wind.

_"--Like the ocean is wide and blue,_

_I’m afraid that I’ll take you for granted,_

_What if I lose you?”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 3**

Two days later, Hansol finally gathered enough will (fueled by his parents’ nagging) to finally step into the waters of Jeju. 

With only his swimming trunks on and his whole body covered in thick sunscreen, he watched as small riddling waves touched his feet as if inviting him to go further into the water. He had no choice, really, his parents’ voices were already calling for him just a few feet away in the water. Hansol quickly chased after them, his face scrunching up as the water slowly leveled up his body. He was quick enough to get a hold of his dad’s arm before a wave gently rolled through them and Hansol almost had a mini heart attack. He looked up at his dad who just laughed and dragged Hansol farther until his feet couldn’t feel the sands underneath anymore, and all Hansol could do was hold on tighter for dear life- how could his parents stay so calm? It felt like he was entering hell.

\--

Sometimes Hansol felt so out of place. While it’s a pretty common feeling for a sixteen-year-old, Hansol not only felt out of place at school, but he also felt the same way, even more so, at home. Hansol’s parents were both active, cheerful extroverts and lovers of life, they’ve visited more than forty countries and their hobbies and interests were frequently updated every two months- from salsa dancing, pottery, even the extremes like bungee jumping, they’ve both tried it all. They were a perfect match for each other, everybody said so. And Hansol thought so too. 

He just wasn’t sure if  _ he  _ was a perfect match for them. 

His parents had tried many times to get Hansol involved in the various activities that they’ve tried, but Hansol was never interested, always preferring to stay inside the safety of the four walls of his room and re-read classics like  _ Frankenstein _ or  _ Moby Dick  _ and watch a random documentary or two just by himself. Hansol was at the other spectrum from where his parents were at.

There were arguments here and there from this kind of behavior, about how lazy Hansol was becoming, how he should mingle with the other kids, how  _ different _ he was from the other kids… 

Hansol could never understand them- he wasn’t even failing in school, he just was never that active- he wasn’t  _ lazy _ . And was there really something wrong about being comfortable in his own presence and space? He’s an introvert, probably too much of an introvert, but at least he wasn’t doing drugs. He just hated people, isn’t that what teens his age are supposed to do anyway?

Hansol never needed anyone, not even a friend... At least his emo teenager self wouldn’t want to admit otherwise.

\--

Even a couple of layers of waterproof sunscreen couldn’t fully protect Hansol from the raging afternoon sun rays. Red spread from the tip of his ears down his shoulders and it started stinging as he, after gathering some courage, swam away from his parents towards a more shallow area near the beach, praying that the sharks and other strange sea creatures would spare his life, at least for today. 

He got to where his feet finally could feel the sandy grounds below, and he walked a little more until the water stayed below his chest. Only there did he notice a figure standing at the shore, their messy blond strands swaying in the wind, and even from this distance, Hansol could tell that Seungkwan was smiling ear to ear. He looked exactly like how he’d seen him two days ago, but it was when his bracelet decorated arm lifted to wave at Hansol that he noticed something.. new. 

There was a mark under his arm as he waved that seemed to extend from a larger part underneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. Hansol couldn’t really see it clearly, the sun was still too bright and he was a little far, but he was certain that he saw a dark purple.

Seungkwan lowered his hand and Hansol’s eyes followed until what he saw disappeared from his sight. Hansol wasn’t sure of what it was, perhaps a birthmark? But he couldn’t recall seeing it two days ago, he would have noticed it so easily otherwise. The color reminded him of the bruise he got that one time when he bumped his leg against the new dining table at home. Maybe Seungkwan bumped himself into something too.

“ - Jellyfish!”

Hansol squinted his eyes as if it was going to help him hear Seungkwan better, and he took a few more steps closer as Seungkwan’s cheerful voice continued to echo in the distance.

“It’s jellyfish season, be careful!” 

Hansol immediately looked around at the water surrounding him- he never noticed how dark the color was, and he couldn’t make out anything in the water, and that was even scarier. He looked back up at Seungkwan, who seemed to be just blinking in return as if what he just said wasn’t alarming at all. He then glanced back towards his parents who were chatting up another tourist in the middle of the sea. There was no way he was going to swim back there to warn them and risk being stung by a jellyfish, or worse, die from it. Maybe he was being a bit dramatic since there were no deadly jellyfish in Jeju island, but then he remembered hearing about white sharks being common in Jeju, and he wondered why he even agreed to get into the water in the first place.

He swam towards Seungkwan as quickly as he could, he figured that adults probably know how to handle jellyfish and white sharks on their own anyway. He was heaving when his limbs could crawl and he finally reached the shore, and then he laid down on the sand as he caught his breath, Seungkwan standing right beside him. 

When he looked up, Seungkwan was laughing, his voice loud and clear and it vibrated in the air. The sun was still bright, but he could see Seungkwan’s face scrunching up and his eyes crinkling as he laughed so heartily. And even though Hansol was rolling his eyes, Seungkwan’s laugh was infectious, and he found himself laughing a little too. He should be pissed, Seungkwan could just be lying about the jellyfish, but Hansol was too glad to finally be out of the water to be annoyed.

“No jellyfish could ever get to you when you swim that fast- are you an athlete?”

Seungkwan was still recovering from his laughter as he crouched down beside Hansol, extending a hand to help him up- and then Hansol saw it again, the dark purple under his arm. 

“No, my survival instinct just kicked in.”

Hansol’s eyes lingered there, on the dark purple peeking from under Seungkwan’s arm, and he was certain now that it was indeed a bruise- a big one. But Seungkwan didn’t seem to realize. 

He stood up with Seungkwan’s help, the sand sticking all over his wet body was starting to itch. Also, he felt gross and he smelled like a dead fish. He couldn’t really hide it as he was grimacing.

“You don’t seem too fond of the sea, unlike your parents.” Seungkwan’s eyes wandered far over towards the figures relaxing and floating in the sea. 

“Not when it’s jellyfish season, or whatever.” Hansol’s brow raised as he followed Seungkwan’s gaze. Seungkwan laughed again, and Hansol tried to keep a cool face, even though he liked the way it sounded, he just hated that it made him want to laugh, again.

“But it is jellyfish season. I  _ know _ so.”

“Is that how you got that bruise? Jellyfish?” Hansol asked and pointed to Seungkwan’s arm although he couldn’t see the bruise with his arm down and pressed against his side, and he sounded a little dumb, but if jellyfishes would leave bruises looking as bad as that one he saw on Seungkwan just now, he would never touch the ocean again.

Seungkwan looked surprised, his already round eyes widening, and he lifts his arm up a little to see what Hansol was talking about like he didn’t know that there was something there. Now Hansol could see it much clearer- it wasn’t just purple, there were yellow blotches too on his skin. It looked painful, like the one he got when he bumped himself against the dining table, but much, much worse. The bruise seemed to spread from somewhere under the sleeve of his shirt, and that somewhere...Hansol didn’t know where. He didn’t want to think too much about it. Maybe it started right under his armpit, that would make sense, it would seem to be the right size for a bruise from a jellyfish sting, right?

“Jellyfish don’t leave bruises like this, silly. Have you ever seen a jellyfish before? Bet you haven’t.” 

Seungkwan’s arm was tucked back right in, and although Seungkwan was grinning, his voice as cheerful as ever, Hansol could see his pupils shake in the slightest. Hansol never liked other people sticking their nose into his business, and Seungkwan seemed pretty clear that he wasn’t going to tell Hansol about it by avoiding his question, so Hansol just shrugged even though he was pretty curious.

“I haven’t seen one alive, but I ate one just a few days ago in Busan? Does that count?”

Seungkwan seemed to appreciate his decision since there was another laugh coming from the blond while his head shook in disbelief. Maybe he had never met a tourist quite like Hansol, but perhaps Seungkwan was just that merry and friendly, since every single thing that Hansol had said so far had easily made him laugh. Somehow, Hansol could not help but to smile at that. It felt like it was probably the right choice not to prod Seungkwan about a stupid bruise.

“Silly, you’re so silly, Hansol.”

Hansol would disagree, since Seungkwan was the one being silly here, with his laughter and round apples of cheeks and cute, crinkling eyes, but he was an introvert, he wasn’t supposed to say too much about what’s in his head. So instead he just watched while the freezing wind tickled his wet skin, while Seungkwan’s laughter slowly subsided, and as he said his goodbye, lines of shells and bracelets dangling from his arm like usual as he skipped his way along the beach. His footsteps on the sand only lingered for as long as the time it took the waves to roll towards the shore to wash them away, but even as Hansol too, started walking away, he could still hear the echo of Seungkwan’s laughter in his head. Hansol hated making friends but, tomorrow, Hansol silently wished, perhaps tomorrow he would get to hear it all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> song reference:  
> smile flower - seventeen


End file.
